Pangnakarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy dugong.

Pangnakarn created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pangnakarn, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pangnakarn, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Pangnakarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pangnakarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to monkeys while wearing blue shoes.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near rats while wearing mauve dresses and balancing seven iron spheres on your back.