Narlmobfumtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, capable ant.

Narlmobfumtonk created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlmobfumtonk, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Narlmobfumtonk, it will be very unhappy.

Narlmobfumtonk's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Narlmobfumtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange otters for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. You must love Narlmobfumtonk.