Gutsasbig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, witty hamster.

Gutsasbig created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutsasbig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutsasbig, he will torture you forever.

Gutsasbig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gutsasbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Never feed lots of corn to badgers while wearing red tights.

5. Never play with disobedient children.