Jonfonrill is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, calm porpoise.

Jonfonrill created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonfonrill, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jonfonrill, she will turn you into a duck.

Jonfonrill's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Jonfonrill's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never go into pink rooms.