Titcedtail is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tranquil cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Titcedtail created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titcedtail, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Titcedtail, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Titcedtail's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Titcedtail's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Titcedtail loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.