Homfagventeen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet dryad.

Homfagventeen created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homfagventeen, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Homfagventeen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Homfagventeen's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Homfagventeen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silver sculptures of Homfagventeen on top of important buildings.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never leap in holy places.