Danlagquam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unselfish bird.

Danlagquam created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danlagquam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Danlagquam, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Danlagquam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Danlagquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Never talk about snails.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never sit in the presence of pigs.