Nartbentab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective goat.

Nartbentab created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbentab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartbentab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nartbentab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nartbentab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.