Ontxuckken is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, able ant.

Ontxuckken created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontxuckken, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ontxuckken, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ontxuckken's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ontxuckken's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.