Flabjonkip Funnurlyar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, fussy troll.

Flabjonkip Funnurlyar created the Virgo Supercluster two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabjonkip Funnurlyar, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flabjonkip Funnurlyar, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Flabjonkip Funnurlyar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Flabjonkip Funnurlyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Always obey Flabjonkip Funnurlyar's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.