Lakcapflag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, confident slug.

Lakcapflag created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lakcapflag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lakcapflag, he will manifest in front of you.

Lakcapflag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Lakcapflag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine tapirs approach from the south.

2. Feed all hungry swans.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.