Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous jellyfish.

Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk, he will boil you in a big pot.

Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Somrownatzakarmlidrilbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near sharks while wearing brown dresses.

2. Always help horses.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.