Tarpvongam is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful beaver.

Tarpvongam created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvongam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpvongam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Tarpvongam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Tarpvongam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to swans while wearing magenta shirts.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Never paint your head green.