Largtofton is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish coyote.

Largtofton created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Largtofton, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Largtofton, it will turn you into a worm.

Largtofton's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Largtofton's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide from white hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Never go into violet rooms.