Kenlapfit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent squirrel.

Kenlapfit created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenlapfit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kenlapfit, it will strike you with lightening.

Kenlapfit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kenlapfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Do not cook food in pots.