Pithimlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless donkey.

Pithimlarp created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pithimlarp, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pithimlarp, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Pithimlarp's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Pithimlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink ducks for they are unholy.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Never feed spinach to dolphins while wearing purple corsets.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Worship no other gods but Pithimlarp.