Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, resourceful toad.

Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab, he will curse you with boils.

Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. You must pray to Kamdogzenmap Hamminsab three times a day.

5. Never bounce in the presence of aardvarks.