Figyartflis is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unjust narwhal.

Figyartflis created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figyartflis, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Figyartflis, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Figyartflis' most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Figyartflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

3. Figyartflis loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.