Lopmithog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, omniscient gorilla.

Lopmithog created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lopmithog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lopmithog, he will be very unhappy.

Lopmithog's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lopmithog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near sharks while wearing orange kilts and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.