Ganyatkapmis is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, slow eagle.

Ganyatkapmis created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganyatkapmis, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ganyatkapmis, he will turn you into a rock.

Ganyatkapmis' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Ganyatkapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Put Ganyatkapmis first in all things.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ganyatkapmis in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not take Ganyatkapmis' name in vain.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ganyatkapmis.