Tetticisscuss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witless duck.

Tetticisscuss created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tetticisscuss, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tetticisscuss, he will turn you into a snail.

Tetticisscuss' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tetticisscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never think about spacetime near moths while wearing mauve hats and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tetticisscuss in the centre of the settlement.