Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful tapir.

Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always help dolphins.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stikbodhudgessflabbemcit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.