Dissbegren is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, able jaguar.

Dissbegren created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissbegren, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dissbegren, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dissbegren's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dissbegren's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never feed melons to gulls while wearing green skirts.