Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful goblin.

Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog, he will turn you into a snail.

Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gupfosskamfemflowbuttafhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near great tits while wearing orange stockings and balancing three titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not kill tapirs.