Funtofflisnad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, capable eagle.

Funtofflisnad created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funtofflisnad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Funtofflisnad, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Funtofflisnad's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Funtofflisnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Funtofflisnad.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about cell theory.