Jopgudyat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, annoying hedgehog.

Jopgudyat created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Jopgudyat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jopgudyat, it will turn you into a plant.

Jopgudyat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jopgudyat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing pink shirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your head.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never paint your chest orange.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.