Vad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, overgenerous donkey.

Vad created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Vad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Erect six tin sculptures of Vad on top of important buildings.

3. Do not kill whales.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.