Sandartgidman is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, amazing mongoose.

Sandartgidman created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandartgidman, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sandartgidman, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sandartgidman's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sandartgidman's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never look at galaxies.