Cenpangbellsid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, pitiless spider.

Cenpangbellsid created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cenpangbellsid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cenpangbellsid, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cenpangbellsid's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Cenpangbellsid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not eat turnips.