Queegvolwad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, grumpy bird.

Queegvolwad created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegvolwad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegvolwad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Queegvolwad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Queegvolwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.