Kim is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying hamster.

Kim created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Kim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kim, she will send you a sign.

Kim's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Kim on top of all buildings.