Laphudlit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, happy zebra.

Laphudlit created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laphudlit, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Laphudlit, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Laphudlit's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Laphudlit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine turtles approach from the south.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Run away from white tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must love Laphudlit.