Fonratgamcad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, deceitful snail.

Fonratgamcad created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonratgamcad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fonratgamcad, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fonratgamcad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Fonratgamcad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never feed beans to ducks while wearing shoes.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Never play with disobedient children.