Batsitragril is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing wyrm.

Batsitragril created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batsitragril, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batsitragril, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Batsitragril's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Batsitragril's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Batsitragril on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Do not chop down trees.