Poptadpop is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest spider.

Poptadpop created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Poptadpop, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Poptadpop, he will turn you into a puffin.

Poptadpop's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Poptadpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck purple.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Feed all hungry hamsters.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.