Mispanhammum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable squid.

Mispanhammum created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Mispanhammum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mispanhammum, it will turn you into a snail.

Mispanhammum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Mispanhammum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three dolphins approach from the west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

4. Always obey Mispanhammum's priests.

5. Do not drink alcohol.