Stig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unjust finch.

Stig created the Virgo Supercluster eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stig, he will turn you into a duck.

Stig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stig.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not keep seven voles in a large pit.

5. Never feed peanuts to rats while wearing white stockings.