Homspaglapbum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing jellyfish.

Homspaglapbum created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homspaglapbum, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Homspaglapbum, he will turn you into a goat.

Homspaglapbum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Homspaglapbum's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Homspaglapbum.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Homspaglapbum six times a day.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Never mention sharks.