Hivponrapyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous fly.

Hivponrapyarp created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivponrapyarp, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hivponrapyarp, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hivponrapyarp's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hivponrapyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near whales while wearing orange shorts.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hivponrapyarp.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.