Witpitnull is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, conceited beaver.

Witpitnull created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Witpitnull, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Witpitnull, it will not care.

Witpitnull's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Witpitnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never paint your head white.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must pray to Witpitnull six times a day.

5. Do not chop down trees.