Farcunlap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain meerkat.

Farcunlap created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farcunlap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Farcunlap, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Farcunlap's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Farcunlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.