Disspangquagtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent wyrm.

Disspangquagtonk created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disspangquagtonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Disspangquagtonk, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Disspangquagtonk's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Disspangquagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide from brown hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.