Nurtmabmin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent skunk.

Nurtmabmin created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtmabmin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurtmabmin, he will turn you into a worm.

Nurtmabmin's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nurtmabmin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Nurtmabmin on top of all buildings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nurtmabmin.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtmabmin.