Stafmegtif is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, annoying alligator.

Stafmegtif created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmegtif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stafmegtif, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Stafmegtif's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Stafmegtif's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stafmegtif.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Do not shave your chest.