Hubrutsid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unselfish dragon.

Hubrutsid created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubrutsid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hubrutsid, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hubrutsid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hubrutsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing purple corsets and balancing five lead spheres on your back.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Never laugh near grasshopers.