Bamcutyim is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, staggering gerbil.

Bamcutyim created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamcutyim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bamcutyim, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bamcutyim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bamcutyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Worship no other gods but Bamcutyim.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Retreat if four pigs approach from the east.