Aftantikflis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful deer.

Aftantikflis created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Aftantikflis, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Aftantikflis, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Aftantikflis' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Aftantikflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide from orange foxes for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Always help birds in need.