Gubcenwat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish badger.

Gubcenwat created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubcenwat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gubcenwat, he will turn you into a duck.

Gubcenwat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gubcenwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.