Vigcusswon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental alligator.

Vigcusswon created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigcusswon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vigcusswon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vigcusswon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Vigcusswon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt voles.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Vigcusswon loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Do not commit murder.