Cip Kanvonkzed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous slug.

Cip Kanvonkzed created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cip Kanvonkzed, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cip Kanvonkzed, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cip Kanvonkzed's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cip Kanvonkzed's Holy Commandments

1. Cip Kanvonkzed loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Cip Kanvonkzed on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.